{"id":1131,"date":"2026-07-24T14:38:12","date_gmt":"2026-07-24T14:38:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/authentictandt.uk\/main\/?page_id=1131"},"modified":"2026-07-24T14:38:12","modified_gmt":"2026-07-24T14:38:12","slug":"communion-and-committee","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/authentictandt.uk\/main\/blogs-news\/communion-and-committee\/","title":{"rendered":"Communion and Committee"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<style>\n.anastasis-post{max-width:820px;margin:0 auto;color:#2A2A28;font-family:Georgia,'Times New Roman',serif;font-size:18px;}\n.anastasis-post strong{font-weight:700;}\n.anastasis-post em{font-style:italic;}\n.anastasis-post a{color:#1F4E4A;text-decoration:underline;text-decoration-color:#9A6B1F;}\n<\/style>\n<div class=\"anastasis-post\">\n\n<figure style=\"margin:0 0 1.8em;\">\n  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/authentictandt.uk\/main\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/anastasis_yt_thumbnail_02.png\" alt=\"The logo for the Anastasis course\" style=\"display:block;width:100%;height:auto;max-height:420px;object-fit:cover;border-radius:8px;\">\n  \n  <!-- <figcaption style=\"margin-top:.5em;font-size:.85rem;color:#6B6B6B;font-style:italic;text-align:center;\">Anastasis Logo<\/figcaption> -->\n<\/figure>\n\n<p style=\"margin:0 0 1.5em;line-height:1.5;\"><strong>Two relationships sit at the heart of all relational healing \u2014 the one we have with the people around us, and the one we have with the many voices inside us. Here is how <em>Anastasis<\/em> holds them together.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p style=\"margin:0 0 1.8em;line-height:1.5;\">\n  <a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/0IrXUVLbOQ8\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" style=\"display:inline-block;padding:.7em 1.4em;background:#1F4E4A;color:#FFFFFF;text-decoration:none;border-radius:6px;font-size:1rem;border-bottom:3px solid #9A6B1F;\">&#9654;&nbsp;&nbsp;Watch the film \u2014 <em>Communion and Committee<\/em><\/a>\n  <span style=\"display:block;margin-top:.6em;font-size:.85rem;color:#6B6B6B;font-style:italic;\">Opens on YouTube in a new window.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n\n<p style=\"margin:0 0 1.5em;line-height:1.5;\">We begin life in relationship, so it makes sense to begin the Dynamics there too. Two of the five \u2014 <em>Communion<\/em> and <em>Committee<\/em> \u2014 are about relationship: one turned outward, towards others and the Source; one turned inward, towards ourselves. I am treating them together because, in truth, they are two sides of a single coin. The way we relate to ourselves is mirrored in the way we relate to others, and vice versa. If I cannot accept my own humanity, then the best I can offer you is pity, or a counterfeit of love that is really possession or compensation.<\/p>\n\n<h2 style=\"margin:2em 0 .45em;line-height:1.25;color:#1F4E4A;font-family:Georgia,serif;font-weight:700;font-size:1.45rem;\">Communion: interpersonal (and transpersonal) relationship<\/h2>\n\n<p style=\"margin:0 0 1.5em;line-height:1.5;\">This Dynamic began life, in my drafts, as <em>Relationship<\/em>, then became <em>Connection<\/em> \u2014 but neither word was enough. \u2018Relationship\u2019 can be healthy or unhealthy; \u2018connection\u2019 can describe a merely functional meeting of needs. I wanted a word for the deeper thing that becomes possible when human beings are brave enough to be vulnerable. So I settled on <em>Communion<\/em>. Broken down from its Latin roots, <em>com<\/em> means \u2018with\u2019 or \u2018together\u2019 and <em>unio<\/em> means \u2018one\u2019: to be one together. For me it carries an interdependence, a mutual respect and compassion, an empathy and resonance and grace, that the other words simply miss.<\/p>\n\n<p style=\"margin:0 0 1.5em;line-height:1.5;\">We are relational from the very beginning. We develop in the womb in relationship with our mother, dependent on her wellbeing. We are born into relationship with her, with our family, with the world. And our first relationships set what Bowlby called an <em>internal working model<\/em> \u2014 a template not only for how the world works, but for whether we belong in it, and what we are worth.<\/p>\n\n<p style=\"margin:0 0 1.5em;line-height:1.5;\">Ainsworth\u2019s work on attachment styles is part of every trauma practitioner\u2019s grammar, and I lean on it here: <em>secure<\/em> attachment, where a child trusts that comfort will come; <em>anxious-avoidant<\/em>, where a child has learned to expect that needs will not be met and so becomes self-reliant and emotionally detached; <em>anxious-ambivalent<\/em>, where intermittent care has taught a child to cling. And then the pattern Ainsworth\u2019s team noticed last: <em>disorganised<\/em> attachment, formed when the caregiver is the very source of fear and confusion, so that the child has no coherent strategy at all. For many of the people we work with, that is the starting point \u2014 and it is why trust can feel almost impossible. Erikson placed <em>trust versus mistrust<\/em> at the very first developmental stage, and when our earliest caregivers were not trustworthy, we are left confused about whom to trust ever after: trusting everyone, or no one, both of which lead us into further harm.<\/p>\n\n<blockquote style=\"margin:2em 0;padding:.1em 0 .1em 20px;border-left:4px solid #9A6B1F;color:#1F4E4A;font-style:italic;font-size:1.18rem;line-height:1.4;\"><p style=\"margin:0;\">There is a fundamental difference between <em>safety<\/em> and <em>familiarity<\/em>. What is familiar can feel \u2018safe\u2019 precisely because it is familiar \u2014 even when it is the very thing that hurt us.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n<p style=\"margin:0 0 1.5em;line-height:1.5;\">That last point is one I return to constantly with clients and trainees alike. Because our early relationships imprinted on our nervous systems, we can be drawn to people who repeat them, and repelled by genuine safety because it feels unfamiliar and therefore uncomfortable. Naming this \u2014 gently, without shame \u2014 is often the beginning of a different choice.<\/p>\n\n<p style=\"margin:0 0 1.5em;line-height:1.5;\"><em>Communion<\/em> also includes the <em>transpersonal<\/em>: our relationship with the Source. Our attachment style colours how we imagine the Divine, and many of us, having been failed by those who were meant to love us, project that failure upward and picture an angry parent to be appeased. I understand that. I also believe there is another possibility \u2014 a Source that longs for us to be <em>one<\/em> with it, in the truest sense of <em>Communion<\/em>. I never insist on this. I simply hold the door open, and invite you to bring your own beliefs into the room.<\/p>\n\n<p style=\"margin:0 0 1.5em;line-height:1.5;\">Because relationship is where the wound was made, it is also where the healing must happen \u2014 and yet it is the very thing we most avoid once we have been hurt. This is why the therapeutic relationship matters so profoundly, and why I value carefully boundaried, well-facilitated <em>groups<\/em> so highly: they offer a broader mirror, a <em>family of choice<\/em>, a crucible of reciprocity in which we learn to be real. It is also why we must understand <em>transference<\/em> and <em>countertransference<\/em> explicitly, and why we cannot simply tell a client \u201cyou can trust me.\u201d <strong>Trust is not asserted; it is <em>experienced<\/em><\/strong>, through our congruence and our authenticity, over time.<\/p>\n\n<h2 style=\"margin:2em 0 .45em;line-height:1.25;color:#1F4E4A;font-family:Georgia,serif;font-weight:700;font-size:1.45rem;\">Committee: intrapersonal relationship<\/h2>\n\n<p style=\"margin:0 0 1.5em;line-height:1.5;\">Now turn inward. Our inner world is a complex and crowded place. I picture mine as a <em>Committee<\/em> \u2014 a roomful of \u2018voices\u2019 or characters, each formed at some point in my life. Some are introjected messages from caregivers about the dos and don\u2019ts, the shoulds and oughts. Some I developed myself, in response to experience. Some are not verbal at all: my body, which Transactional Analysis calls the <em>Somatic Child<\/em>, is a member of the Committee, as are my emotions and my senses.<\/p>\n\n<p style=\"margin:0 0 1.5em;line-height:1.5;\">Everyone has a Committee; it is simply how the mind organises itself. In a person who did not grow up with trauma, it tends to be a reasonably orderly working group. There may be a cautious voice, an anxious voice, but as long as the mature <em>Adult<\/em> self holds the Chair \u2014 the seat with the casting vote, the one that manages the dynamics in the room \u2014 the Committee can take account of all those voices and respond to life with some objectivity.<\/p>\n\n<p style=\"margin:0 0 1.5em;line-height:1.5;\">But when a person has grown up with developmental and relational trauma, the Committee can become a riotous assembly. Some members vie loudly for control. Others hide under the table, terrified of being seen or asked to choose anything. Old, frightened, very young members keep seizing the microphone.<\/p>\n\n<blockquote style=\"margin:2em 0;padding:.1em 0 .1em 20px;border-left:4px solid #9A6B1F;color:#1F4E4A;font-style:italic;font-size:1.18rem;line-height:1.4;\"><p style=\"margin:0;\">The work is not to silence or banish anyone \u2014 it is to help the <em>Adult<\/em> self take the Chair, and get the best out of everyone in the room.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n<p style=\"margin:0 0 1.5em;line-height:1.5;\">Let me make this concrete, because it is how I actually live. I have an anxious member partway down the table, with a persistent terrified voice. I have another who remembers all our failures and is quick to say that whatever we attempt will go wrong. Left to those two alone, I freeze and get nothing done. So, sitting between them, I have a fellow I call Malcolm \u2014 my safeguarding lead and risk assessor. He answers the doom-laden voices with things like, \u201cI know you\u2019re scared, but I can help,\u201d and \u201cwe\u2019re in this together,\u201d and \u201cyou don\u2019t have to manage on your own.\u201d He helps the frightened members find their resources, and he consults the Chair, who reframes our failures as learning. I have a creative member with a kind of ADHD energy and no follow-through, who works far better when paired with a planner. I rarely get them <em>all<\/em> collaborating at once \u2014 but I can convene small <em>working groups<\/em> around a particular task. The team writing this model is in focus today, which is why the housework is not getting done.<\/p>\n\n<p style=\"margin:0 0 1.5em;line-height:1.5;\">As for the Source: I have come to think of the <em>Chair<\/em> as the chief executive of the company \u2014 which is me \u2014 and the <em>Creator<\/em> as the <em>owner<\/em> of the company. I run the day-to-day operations; the Owner can override me when needed, and I feel that override as a nudge in my spirit when a door closes or I have stepped outside what is best for me.<\/p>\n\n<p style=\"margin:0 0 1.5em;line-height:1.5;\">How do we get to know our Committee? Through the much-neglected art of <em>contemplation<\/em> \u2014 what modern coaching has rebranded as <em>mindfulness<\/em>. It is simply the practice of listening to ourselves with compassionate objectivity and curiosity. Most of us who have survived trauma are overthinkers, so the moment we try to be still the Committee turns up the volume into quite a cacophony. That is normal. Sometimes I wait for my inner snow-globe to settle; sometimes I am too restless for that, and I walk or dance instead, so that my <em>Somatic Child<\/em> gets some attention and does not hijack the whole meeting.<\/p>\n\n<h2 style=\"margin:2em 0 .45em;line-height:1.25;color:#1F4E4A;font-family:Georgia,serif;font-weight:700;font-size:1.45rem;\">Two sides of one coin<\/h2>\n\n<p style=\"margin:0 0 1.5em;line-height:1.5;\">Here is why I teach these two Dynamics together. Until we can listen to our own Committee with empathy, we will struggle to listen to another person with real empathy too \u2014 we will keep mistaking our projections for their reality. And until we have experienced safe <em>Communion<\/em> with at least one trustworthy other, many of our Committee members will never dare come out from under the table. The inner work and the relational work feed each other, endlessly. Learning to hold both, in ourselves and then in the room with a client, is one of the central skills we practise on the Level&nbsp;7 course.<\/p>\n\n<h3 style=\"margin:2em 0 .4em;color:#1F4E4A;font-family:Georgia,serif;font-weight:700;font-size:1.15rem;\">A few questions to sit with<\/h3>\n\n<ul style=\"margin:0 0 1.5em;padding-left:1.25em;\">\n<li style=\"margin:.35em 0;line-height:1.5;\">Who sits on your own <em>Committee<\/em>? Which member tends to grab the microphone \u2014 and who never gets heard?<\/li>\n<li style=\"margin:.35em 0;line-height:1.5;\">What is your own attachment style, and how does it show up in the room with clients?<\/li>\n<li style=\"margin:.35em 0;line-height:1.5;\">Where do you experience <em>Communion<\/em> \u2014 real one-togetherness \u2014 in your life right now?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n<hr style=\"border:0;border-top:1px solid #d9d2c4;margin:2em 0;\">\n\n<h3 style=\"margin:2em 0 .4em;color:#1F4E4A;font-family:Georgia,serif;font-weight:700;font-size:1.15rem;\">About the course<\/h3>\n\n<p style=\"margin:0 0 1.5em;line-height:1.5;\">The <em>Anastasis<\/em> Model sits at the heart of a <strong>Level&nbsp;7 Diploma in trauma-informed, advanced therapeutic practice<\/strong> \u2014 written for accredited counsellors and psychotherapists who want to work more deeply with developmental and relational trauma, and who are moving towards senior accreditation (SCoPEd Column&nbsp;C).<\/p>\n\n<p style=\"margin:0 0 1.5em;line-height:1.5;\">It runs online, with three in-person residentials, over fifteen months: <strong>October&nbsp;2026 to December&nbsp;2027<\/strong>. The group is deliberately small \u2014 capped at twelve \u2014 so no one is ever just a face in a crowded screen. The fee is <strong>\u00a35,250<\/strong>, with payment plans available.<\/p>\n\n<p style=\"margin:0 0 1.5em;line-height:1.5;\">To enquire, email <strong><a href=\"mailto:training@authentictandt.uk\">training@authentictandt.uk<\/a><\/strong> or call Annie on <strong>07949&nbsp;677405<\/strong>. We shape the cohort together through conversation, so do get in touch early.<\/p>\n\n<p style=\"margin:0 0 1.5em;line-height:1.5;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.authentictandt.uk\">www.authentictandt.uk<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":1101,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"pagelayer_contact_templates":[],"_pagelayer_content":"","footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-1131","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/authentictandt.uk\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1131","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/authentictandt.uk\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/authentictandt.uk\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/authentictandt.uk\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/authentictandt.uk\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1131"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/authentictandt.uk\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1131\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1132,"href":"https:\/\/authentictandt.uk\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1131\/revisions\/1132"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/authentictandt.uk\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1101"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/authentictandt.uk\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1131"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}